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"Our idealism about Valentine’s Day is, at the very least, embarrassing and a general reflection of some bad romantic comedy we saw starring Jennifer Love Hewitt Lopez (I combine the two because, well, frankly, they deserve it)." "The most romantic V-Day I had was when my boyfriend wrote me a book about every trip we’d been on," she continues.
"There were pictures of us, with love poems and prose about how much I’d changed his life.
"If you don’t receive an engagement ring or whatever grand gesture you’re hoping for on this very commercialized holiday, be a grown-up and get over it," she says.You can't fast- forward heartbreak, and you can't rewind love—and, that's just one big bummer.Then Peter asked me a question: "Do you still call everything you love 'Chunk'? Peter knew me before I had a dog named Chunk, and before I lost my mother, whom I called Chunk. Even though I knew I wouldn't be having sex with Peter again, never mind getting back together, I was moved that someone I hadn't spoken to in so many years knew me so well.Peter seemed surprisingly open to the idea but needed reassurance that I wasn't going to make fun of him on camera—a theme, for some reason, that keeps reintroducing itself into my romantic relationships. It's supremely awkward seeing someone you used to have a lot of sex with for the first time in almost two decades.It's embarrassing sitting three feet away from your ex, trying to discern whether he's wondering how badly you've aged—or, more specifically, if you look fatter than you did at 23. He told me that I was a menace—that I would drink more than him and his friends combined, and then get up at 7 a.m. He said that I was opinionated and loved a good fight, and that I could get anyone to open up.
He was the one you believe you'll eventually find your way back to because, at 23, your brain is exploding with the struggle to accept that not all things happen for a reason. Knees shaking, I called him on a phone number whose last four digits I've used as the code to every safe in every hotel room I've stayed in since we met.